the power of words
par Simon Beauséjour
Words are powerful. Words will make or break a project. They will empower or disengage a relationship. They will express ideas clearly or create confusion. They will enroll or discourage friends or associates. All in all, words have power mainly because they are the vehicle between ideas and people. Proper choice of words will reflect intention, and clarity of words will ensure clear communication of thoughts.
Time and time again have we seen enthusiasm fall and projects fail because of a leader who could not get his ideas across correctly. Disappointment is often part of unclear and incomplete communication. Mistrust will develop, friendships will be challenged and relationships will fail on account of the words chosen to express the importance of others in our lives.
Now, what about internal conversation? What if the impact of our language towards ourselves had the same importance than in our relationships with others, or more? In fact, one-on-one vocabulary can even be sneakier, thus harder on us than we might expect. The main reason being that there isn’t another person involved in the conversation to bounce our ideas off and help course-correct our language. We are the only judge of the words we choose to use, and most of the time unaware of the negative impact they can generate.
Do the one-day exercise of noticing the number of times you use the word ‘IF’ and you will probably end up pretty surprised. What exactly is ‘if’? other than an invitation to confusion. ‘If’ creates doubt, as it lives outside of reality. We use it when we want to imagine a scenario that has not yet happened, thus creating uncertainty, indecision, risk and even anxiety. How to avoid this process? Replace ‘if’ with a positive affirmation.
Here are a few examples:
‘If I join this class, I will know more’ can be replaced by: ‘When I follow this class, I will learn new things’. A more realistic, direct approach to something we wish to achieve.
‘If I make this trip to Japan, I will know more about their culture’ can be replaced by: ‘I plan to visit Japan someday because I’m interested by that culture’. Again, that is a more possible approach and a solid affirmation. Chances seem much better now that the trip will in fact happen.
‘I would change my car if I had the money’ can be replaced by ‘I start to plan ahead today because I want to change my car within the next year’. Which do you think is more likely to generate results?
Imagination is powerful and not to be left out of a healthy and complete relationship with self. Most impactful projects do start with ‘what if’s and outside-the-box thinking. However, they will most likely become reality if addressed properly and seriously, and not merely as unattainable or frivolous ideas.
Now, how about making a few more one-day experiments? Try one of my favorites… the word ‘but’. Even more interesting is ‘yes, but’, which really means ‘No!’. Other good choices are: ‘want to’, ‘have to’, ‘need’, ‘could’, should’, ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’. Notice how they can create stress, tension, frustration or disappointment.
Do it! Do the one-day tests, and let me know what you discover, I’m interested! Notice what you find out about the power of your own words, about your choice of vocabulary and their relation with how you feel about yourself, your self-worth, confidence, commitment and mostly how strong you feel about what you can achieve and the endless possibilities to create.
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